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THE EUROPEAN UNION FINALLY ANNOUCES A SIMPLE AND EASY COMMON LANGUAGE!

 
The new EC Regulations; The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. In the sekond year there will be growing publik enthusiasm when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f. This will make words like "fotograf 20% shorter.       In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a dete-rent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e'"s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopi wil be resep-tiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud ofkors be apli'd to ozer kombinations ofleters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sen-sibi riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubis or difikultis and evrivun vi] find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! (F)
     
 
 

 

TWO YEARS IN A TREE

Julia 'Butterfly' Hill spent two years in a tree to save it from the saw.

738 days up a thousand year old tree called "Moon". Sounds uncomfortable doesn't it? But if you are against deforestation and you want to save a forest that contains some of the tallest and oldest trees in the world then perhaps you might understand Julia Hill's motives. One of the reasons could also be that 'Butterfly' Hill is one of those people who has seen death close up and understands that life is something beautiful and unique. When she was 21 she suffered a car accident that meant she couldn't walk for
   10 months and since then has had a different sense of what it means to live. When she went to a remote part of California with the ecological group 'Earth First' and discovered that only 3% of the original forest remained and that it was soon to disappear under the lumberjacks* saw she decided to take action. "We need people ready to climb up and stay there for a few days'' were the words of Almond, the group's leader. Those few days soon became weeks, months and eventually years. Julia soon became an international media star. With her mobile phone she spoke with American schoolchildren, Japanese T.V. stations, an Israeli university and Australian ecologists. Her 'office' was a tent fixed to a small wooden platform and she also had another 'room' at a height of 60m which she used as a store    room and observation point. Supplies were lifted up to her by pullies, she captured ram for her water, solar panels recharged the batteries she used and she cooked her vegetarian meals on a small camping stove*. Naturally the lumber* company that wanted to cut down the trees did not let her live peaceftilly. There were always lumberjacks at the base of the tree threatening to cut it down at any moment and helicopters circled above her creating a defeaning* noise that prevented her from sleeping. Then she had to survive 140 kph winds during the storms provoked by 'El Nino'. And what did she say when she finally came down after saving the tree and all those in a three acre area around it? "I'm going to miss 'Moon' but I will continue dreaming of my forest every day" (I)

NEWS SHORTS

Javier Aizpun, founder of the Union del Pueblo Navarro. died in December at the age of 71. In 1978 he left the UCD, in protest against the new Constitution, to form a year later the UPN. He was always against the possibility ofNavarra entering into the Basque Autonmous Community which the Constitution allows as a possibility in the future.
     

George Harrison, the ex Beatle, was attacked by an intruder in his London home. The musician recieved stab* wounds* in his chest and his wife Olivia was also injured. They were able to disarm their attacker and hold him until the Police arrived. Harrison will have to stay in hospital for various days.
   
 
Helmut Kohl, ex leader of Germany, faces possible prosecution and imprisonment. He is being investigated for the possible misuse* of public money by his party. (E)


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