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A new theory suggests that the pyramids were built with kites

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Maureen Clemmons says a prayer to the Egyptian god of the wind and prepares to wait for the answer to her request. She contemplates the two kites (similar to those used for parasailing*) that are attached to a big rock and soon begins to smile as a gust* lifts the kites into the air and the seemingly immovable obelisk starts to move across the grassy field. For Clemmons this is the first piece of evidence that might prove her innovative theory that the Egyptian pyramids were constructed with the help of enormous kites. Kites? This is the somewhat strange method that Clemmons has proposed as the solution to the engineering enigma of how the ancient Egyptians could have built their giant pyramids.

The accepted theory is that they used ramps to move the stones up into position, but the director of a successful hair-care products company with no scientific background has different ideas. Inspired by her windy home (Reseda, California) she recalled the strong winds that blow in Egypt between February and June. As the Egyptians mass produced linen for sailcloth* and some hieroglyphs suggest that the pyramids were raised by "invisible gods in the sky' she came to the conclusion that they could have used kites to raise the pyramid stone into place. When she mentioned her idea to Mory Gharib. an aeronautics engineer at the California Institute of Technology, he confirmed the possibility. Calculations state that two 180 by 460 cm kites and three pulleys could lift a pyramid stone in a 40 km/h wind. 

As might be expected professional Egyptologists are, at best, sceptical about such an idea. Edward Brovarski from Brown University states, "Even if Caltech (the institute) demonstrates you can lift heavy stones with kites, that doesn 't prove that the Egyptians could have built a pyramid that -way." But the testing continues. Gharib has plans to build the necessary kites and the experiments will take place in the Mojave Desert in California. Clemmons has managed to get several companies to collaborate on a new perfume called 'Ala' (wing) to sell in pyramid bottles with all the profits going to the project. Her dream is to go to the Middle East and prove her theory in Gaza, next to the monuments that she says were built with the help of the gods of the wind.  

and more from www.humor.com

o The mother of Sly, Jacqueline Stallone, previously known as a mere astrologer, recently began specializing in "rumpology," the study of a person's character and future, based on the contour of his or her butt*. Stallone does not conduct hands-on examinations, but rather gets subjects to sit on sheets of inked paper and make impressions ("maps"). The left cheek supposedly indicates natural talents and personality; the right cheek shows reality vs. potential.
o Bruce Edward Hall, 48 and blind, was arrested in December and charged with robbing a First Tennessee Bank in Memphis. Hall had pretended to be a customer and was escorted to a teller's* window by a guard as a courtesy before presenting the teller with the holdup note. And Leon Grigsby Martin, 33, blind and carrying a white cane, was arrested in Muskegon, Michegan, in September and charged with robbing two stores of a total of $340. (He got only $20 from one clerk, who might have tricked Martin into believing he was giving him higher-denomination bills.)
o In Edwardsville, Illinois, in October, a 48-year-old woman was accidentally shot to death by her husband as the couple posed in an Old West-style wedding photo with him holding a rifle. And in Willingboro, New Jersey, in November, as two partners in a record store were rehearsing what they would do if they ever got robbed, the partner acting as the clerk accidentally shot to death the partner acting as the robber.
o A Barbados pet-shop owner was arrested by Customs in Miami trying to smuggle in 55 tortoises (value $75 each) in his pants.
o Shopper Bryan ote parked his $2,000 bicycle in the wrong spot at the Salvation Army store in Concord, New Hampshire, and a clerk sold it for $ 15.


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