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FILMS/JOKES

007 - THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
(Pierce Brosnan, Sophie Marceau and Denise Richards) Bond, James Bond, returns to save the world again (what would we do without him?). This time there is a little local flavour with a guest appearance of the Guggenheim in Bilbao. The famous secret agent battles against a crazy terrorist in such diverse places as the river Thames, the Scottish Highlands, the Caucasian mountains and an oil platform in Turkey. Guess who wins!

DEEP BLUE SEA
(Samuel L. Jackson, Safron Burrows and

LL Cool J) If you thought that the Great White shark* of Steven Speilberg's classic film 'Jaws' was frightening then don't go to see this movie. Scientists trying to find a way to regenerate human brain tissue genetically manipulate Mako sharks to make them more intelligent, quicker and more lethal. Then the sharks decide to escape...

NADBE CONOCE A NADIE(Eduardo Noriega, Jordi Molla and Paz Vega) This is the first film by Mateo Gil who is until now has worked with Alejandro Amenabar as a script writer*. The action

takes place in Seville during the last Easter of the millennium and what seems to be a bad joke at first soon becomes a nightmare*. Intrigue, mystery and murder are the ingredients in this dark and complex movie.

ANA AND THE KING
(Jodie Foster, Chow Jun-Fat, Bai Ling) Based on a true story, this film relates the adventures of a British governess* Ana Leonowens, employed by the King of Siam to teach his 58 offspring*. Beautiful oriental landscapes are the background to the human story of the relationship between the determined teacher and the obstinate King.

ARE YOU FINALLY A MATURE ADULT?
If you answer yes to these questions then you have finally become mature and responsible (and old and maybe miserable...)

You have more food than beer in your fridge.
6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You have 7 days of holiday instead of 70.
Sleeping on the sofa makes your back hurt.
You don't drink at home first (to save money) before you go out with your friends.
More than 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
MTV News is no longer where you get all your news.
You don't have naps* from noon to 5 p.m. anymore.
You carry an umbrella and are interested in the weather forecasts
You eat cereals for breakfast (in a bowl), not for a quick dinner (from your hand).

TOP 10 HILLARY CLINTON CAMPAIGN SLOGANS

10. "Read My Lips -No New Interns"
9. "Reward Me For Putting Up With Bill's Rubbish For So Long"
8. "Isn't It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different Clinton?"
7. "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You Can Illegally Contribute To My Campaign"
6. "Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Sleep With Your Wife"
5. "You Give Me A Vote, I'll Get Vemon Jordan To Give You A Job"
4. "Still Not Indicted As Of 1999!"

3. "From Perjury To Albany"

2. "Building A Bridge To The 21st Century, And Pushing My Husband Over It"

And the NUMBER ONE Hilliary Clinton Campaign Slogan ...

1. "Oh Lord, Please Don't Make Me Go Back To Arkansas"

A BAD JOKE AT THE COST OF ONE OF THE CENTURY'S GREATEST MEN

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his unusual diet, he suffered from badbreath. This made him what?
A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. (do you remember Mary Poppins....?)


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